Annals of Attorney Billing, Episode #432
Most firms only count collected hours, not mere billed hours. A certain percentage of your clients will try to stiff you.. This happens at all levels: it’s not just new clients, not just small clients. For example, I did eighty hours of work for an accounting firm whose initials use the letters “E” and “Y.” They didn’t pay–I listened to a very eloquent explanation–more than once–about how they had expected their client to pay and since he didn’t, i was out of luck. No matter that I thought I was performing the requested work on “E” and “Y” ’s behalf.
What then? Some people would resort to violence–but not me. Instead, I hired a 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒐 to put a curse on the person who asked me to do the work. My colleague laughed at me and asked, “how can you believe in such things?”
I understand that the partner who hired and stiffed me recently became ill and her child has just graduated from marijuana and moved into heroin. Her husband’s business is the subject of an IRS tax compliance measurement system audit and she found out that he’s been cheating on her.
Who believes in such things, indeed?
You should know that I once cross-examined a collector for a New York mob family. A fearsome fellow. But he never had to physically assault anyone. He simply told the debtor who he was, on whose behalf he had come and asked for the money. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒂𝒍𝒘𝒂𝒚𝒔 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒅. Why? Because they knew what would happen next if they did not. I point this out if you don’t know a 𝒑𝒂𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒐. Some might think that in the long run, a mob enforcer is a more merciful alternative.
