For eight hundred bucks you can purchase a 21 foot container. Have it delivered to the loading dock of your target employer. The “paperwork” accompanying the container contains a USB with your video, personal data sheet, cv and other job-relevant info. The dock manager won’t know what to do with this, so he’ll pass it up the chain. Eventually it will make its way to HR, or even better, the division where you want to work.

Don’t bother with the shoestring version: pizza delivery. It’s been done to death.

Another option: buy a small, squirrel sized-coffin and in the 9 x 14 clear plastic paperwork envelope, write, “DANGER: VAMPIRE SQUIRREL: DO NOT OPEN AFTER SUNDOWN.” Of course they will open it–remember, there’s no such thing as a “vampire squirrel.” Inside they’ll find a link to a website with all your cool personal info, your videos, a portfolio.

Here you can apologize for the intrusion, the commotion and as a sign of good faith include a couple of coupons for free pizzas. This works because the free pizza is not the vehicle, it’s the apology. And believe me, they will order the pizzas.