Abrego Garcia and Anna Delvey

In travel news, Trump wants to send Abrego Garcia to Uganda and federal troops to Chicago. Anna Delvey (Inventing Anna) remains in the US because the Nine Sages of the Supreme Court haven’t dealt with the appeal of her criminal case. With so much Trump-related litigation taking up the court’s attention on both its regular and “shadow” dockets, perhaps there is little time to devote to Anna’s case. It shouldn’t take long for the Nine Sages to issue their “cert.denied” order, but the rules for celebrity justice are different. Like it or not, Delvey is a celebrity, appearing in the pages of Vogue, Page Six and wherever else celebrities hang out these days.

Though not a matter (yet) for the Nine Sages, Delvey may be a candidate for African deportation. Delvey came to the US from Germany, where she was not a citizen, but a resident. Germany is unlikely to accept for residency an individual who has committed felonies in the United States. This leaves the Russian Federation, where Delvey was born and may be able to get a Russian passport. Whether Russia takes her back depends on whether the US is holding anyone Russia wants. Or whether Russia is holding anyone we want. Involving Russia in a prisoner swap is like three-dimensional chess: Russia will insist that an individual in another country be part of the exchange, while the US gripes that any exchange should only be a bilateral arrangement. While all this squabbling goes on, Delvey gets to stay in New York. I wonder if she even still speaks Russian–she left at a young age and grew up in Germany.

If the US deports Abrego Garcia to Uganda or its other favorite, South Sudan, it will only be a question of time before he shows up at the Southern border in search of a coyote to take him across. Don’t expect him to avoid legal entanglements by moving his family back to El Salvador. Abrego Garcia wrongly believes, as do all upon whom the attention spotlight falls, that the reason a US senator traveled to El Salvador was due to a genuine interest in Abego Garcia’s case and well-being. Nothing could be further from the truth. Interest in his case exists only because it’s an effective way to criticize Donald Trump. Once Trump is taken out of the equation, no one will care.

If Abrego Garcia can get to Dubai or Istanbul, he can get a flight to South America. Once in Colombia, he can join others crossing the Darien on foot and then it’s an arduous–arduous but doable–bus ride north to and through Mexico. Financial help will arrive from “supporters” who would love to see this Salvadoran thorn prick Trump’s side again. Stories of the trip through the jungle, being threatened by smugglers with a cameo by the colorful Kuna Indian tribe of Panama–for whom the names “Wilson” and “Woodrow” are commonplace–will enrage those who blame all these hardships on his nemesis, Donald Trump.

In the old days–that is before the FBI put a stop to senators selling immigration relief through expensive private bills, special legislation would go through Congress regularizing Abrego Garcia’s immigration situation. I wonder why so little is said about his American-citizen wife. It is understandable why she may not be keen on moving to Uganda and the idea of a Darien jungle trek doesn’t really sound like a fun vacation.

Order yours now

Meanwhile, Anna Delvey appears in a multi-page Vogue spread and you can almost ignore the black “electronic monitoring device” affixed to her ankle. It is just a question of time before these become a “must have” fashion item and the market is flooded with cheap–albeit, tariff-paid, non-functioning copies to complete the look.

Soon, everyone will have one.