My fellow obese citizens: Americans overseas are afraid to express nationalism. Own your idiosyncracies: insist on ice in your water and 8x11 paper, tip freely, put pineapple on your pizza, Half & Half in your coffee, write m/d/y, guzzle Coca-cola like there’s no tomorrow and demand Ranch dressing.

After all, no one would tease a Japanese tourist for asking where sushi could be found. Why should American tourists be treated differently?