Kyle Rittenhouse criticized Biden (for criticizing him). Kyle, here’s some advice: some day you might become a pundit. If that’s your goal—and we both know it’s not—enroll at the University of Arizona, the University of Illinois (SIU or Champaign, either will do); get your bachelor’s in criminology. Now try to parlay your fifteen minutes into a substantial gig. That might simply be a lowly but honest job as a police officer—which you did want—or a first responder. Maybe even a federal agent, though right now this is a stretch. You were already a fan of community service before your fifteen minutes; lending a hand now will be even more significant. Half the country hates you and a quarter of them will always hate you. You can still make important contributions to this country.

But political tweeting is not one of them. At least, not now.

Or, I suppose you could realize that in this country, notoriety has value. Even an acquitted defendant in a Wisconsin homicide case can grab headlines. Move to California, start dating wanna-be actresses: to be seen with you is a chance to be noticed. Try a reality: “Flip Like Ritt” can be the title of your show about how you rehab houses. Maybe do one season. Maybe a creepy Wisconsin show. The State boasts at least two notorious cannibal serial killers. Wasn’t there a witch in Waukesha? It might be a stretch, but there should be enough for etght episodes. Take acting lessons and who knows? You might make straight to video popular again.

The choice is yours. Personally, I think you’ve got a better shot with the first alternative, but then, I’m sitting in Saudi Arabia. Whaddo I know?