In describing an incident where feces were found in the marital bed that Amber Heard shared with Johnny Depp, Judge Andrew Nicol found that it is likely the feces were not human given that Heard’s dog “had an incomplete mastery of her bowels after she had accidentally consumed some marijuana.”

So if someday you are accused of public defecation, point out to the officer that you merely had “an incomplete mastery of your bowels.” The officer is likely to respond with, “Whaat? Did you shit in the street or not?”

It is also good to know that the pooch did not “deliberately” consume marijuana, though I am not sure how His Lordship came to that conclusion.